"And in the event of a water landing, you're probably going to be like, 'why is there water between Kansas City and Tulsa?' It could happen. You should exit in an orderly fashion."

"I have lost something, Mom. Three months ago, I was hot and young. Weird Israeli dudes would propose to me every time I walked by Radio Shack. And now... Am I old? Have I rotted?"

"We should just keep it super casual."
"I am so glad you said that. ... And does 'super casual' –– that means that we're like khakis, or... jean shorts?"
"Well, like –– like, those weird calf-length shorts Kevin Smith wears?"
"Jorts?"
"Yeah. We're jorts."