Screw: Duke. Obviously. Apologies to the ladies, but I have no interest in anything other than platonic relationships with any of you.

Marry: ... Summer? I guess? She makes good jello shots and I feel like we could keep a nice platonic marriage going for tax benefits or whatever. You know, if I have to have a beard.

Kill: Octavia. Because apparently it would kill her to be polite. Or ... say more than three words at a time.