Spotlight on Fandoms: Big Trouble in Little China

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Before he blew up a gould, before he went Overboard, Kurt Russell was in this awful movie named Big Trouble in Little China that tanked horribly, was never seen, and was quickly shelved to never see the light of day.

Not really.

Originally conceived as a sequel to the Buckaroo Banzai movie, BTiLC is about a man looking for his truck. A man (different man) looking for his fiance. A man (more different man) looking for eternal life. And three mans looking for the Mortal Kombat game for infringement purposes. And there's underground tunnels, a Beholder, Cheesy Acrobatics, a lot of hells, cheesy one-liners, and the worst actor acting as a character acting as a character evaaaar...in a brothel.

No, really. Total guilty pleasure cult movie...with music by the director.

The movie starts with Our Sidekick Hero on the CB talking smack. (Just ignore the part at the beginning with the lawyer and the lightning). Soon, the plot setup happens: Jack needs to get his Double or Nothin' money from his good buddy Wang *snicker* after Wang *snicker* fails to slice a bottle in half...which Jack catches with a scoff. Jack offers to drive Wang to the airport so he (Wang) can pick up his (Wang's) fiancee (Mrs. Wang-To-Be). Oh, no! A kidnapping? In my airport? It's more plotty than you think. Jack and Wang give chase and end up abandoning Jack's truck in an alley during a funeral where all hell breaks loose as people get all kung fu fighting-y during the procession...and there's this guy who's there, gets run over, and is there again. WTF? FLeee!

After getting reinforcements, getting some gal who'd never work again in movies (much less land a cherry job on Sex in the City) kidnapped because she has green eyes, deciding to kick ass and chew bubblegum, get more backup, and drinking some mystical potion, Our Heroes go off to kick ass and take names.

Okay, everybody but Jack kicks ass and takes names. Jack? He talks tough, but...he ends up on his ass a lot.

Why should you watch? Because you love cheesy movies. You love it when the good guys talk smack to the bad guy. The fight scenes. The dialog. The cheesy 80s-ness.

Characters:
Jack Burton/Kurt Russell: Main character of the movie. Sidekick. Talks big, clutzy, but ballsy. Has no problems walking into a brothel to gather intel or fight alongside his friends with overwhelming odds. Trucker. Independent. ....may have questionable fashion sense and a mullet.

David Lo Pan/James Hong: Bad guy. Cursed. Must find a green-eyed girl to sacrifice to appease the God of the East. Alternates between crippled old man in a wheelchair and a 10 foot tall roadblock (he must have Second Life or something. Maybe a Myspace with that "So Much Cooler Online" song in the background.). When Wang's fiance Miao Yin and nosy Gracie Law both show up with green eyes, he gets all giggidy planning to marry one and sacrifice the other. Sorcerer. Professionally creepy. Has been booted from Match.com due to incompatibility issues.

Wang Chi/Dennis Dun: The hero of the movie. Brave, loyal, steadfast, hardworking, questionable taste in friends and/or betting partners. Has a fiance who gets kidnapped and starts this whole mess. Probably has a respectable business website.

Miao Yin/Suzee Pai: Kidnappee #1. Has the hots for Wang Chi. Not dirty? Has green eyes and fits in the back of a sports car.

Gracie Law/Kim Cattrall: Kidnappee #2, reporter type nosy person. She gets kidnapped because of the green eyes and being nosy.

Egg Shen/Victor Wong: Wise Old Man who conducts tours of Chinatown. Businessman who owns blocks. Sorcerer. Good guy.

Eddie/Margo: Their love is so awww.

Thunder/Rain/Lightning: Three movie characters in search of a video game. Henchelements of the bad guy.

Beholder: Beholder monster is watching you infiltrate. This needs to be macro'd.


IMDB site
Trailer

[will be updated, as RL kept interfering and my DVD is at a friend's house. woe! With commentary! *shakes fist*]