New Townie!

[bigdamnprincipal]

It's my pleasure to announce our newest townie, Quark (wouldbenagus) from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine! Please give him a kind Fandom welcome!

Comments

[era_two_triangle]

QUAAAAARK.

[wouldbenagus]

Well what do you know, Earth really is populated by little green men.

[era_two_triangle]

... I'm not a man.

Or from Earth.

[wouldbenagus]

Yeah, sure, whichever. Let me introduce you to a wonderful game from my culture: dabo! You'll pick it up in no time, I just need something for collateral, any latinum you might have, say, or precious gems. . . .

[era_two_triangle]

DON'T YOU GO GETTING ANY IDEAS.

[wouldbenagus]

What, me?! I'm hurt! Hurt, I tell you! Why, you've only just met me and already you accuse me of -- of -- what am I not supposed to get any ideas about?

[era_two_triangle]

Precious Gems!

...

Well.

There's a Pearl you're welcome to get ideas about, she's pretty insufferable most of the time. But she's not around here.

[wouldbenagus]

Honey, I'll take payment however you like, so long as it's valuable.

[sharp_man]

Do we need to lock up our valuables?

[wouldbenagus]

Now, now, I'm a deal-maker, not a thief. I'm sure a clever guy like you can manage his own finances just fine.

Unless you'd like to hire a financial manager. I'm very good at that. I have references! They're klingons, but they're references. . . .

[sharp_man]

I believe I'll pass, but thank you. I can indeed manage my own finances. However, I can give you the names of some people you might want to contact.

[wouldbenagus]

Oh yeah? People with money, I hope?

[sharp_man]

Quite a bit of money, very little sense.

[wouldbenagus]

My absolute favorite sorts of people! They don't, ah, tend to get violent when parted with said money, do they?

[sharp_man]

Not if you do it right.

[what_the_shock]

I'm already not the newbie anymore? Awesome!

[wouldbenagus]

I just got here and I can already tell, you'll always be the new-bie.

. . . From context I gather "new-bie" means "fool who'll soon lose all his money".

[what_the_shock]

Sorry, no. a) Newbie means newest person here, and b) I don't have enough money to lose, unless you know how to hack into the systems back home.

[wouldbenagus]

Have you tried a hatchet?

[what_the_shock]

...not that kind of hacking. Getting into the bank systems without letting them know who did it.

[wouldbenagus]

Well. I haven't had time to make my usual contacts and gather my usual supplies, but I suppose I could assist in such a venture.

For a modest percentage, of course.

[what_the_shock]

Hey, my money minus a modest percentage is still more than the nothing I've got now.

[wouldbenagus]

That's the spirit! And then you can try your luck at making your money grow at my dabo tables.

[what_the_shock]

I'd love to!

But then I have super eyesight and can count cards.

[wouldbenagus]

Dabo doesn't involve any cards.

Excellent! I'll make sure to replicate plenty of liquor for the occasion. First round's on the house for anyone trying out our dabo tables!

[what_the_shock]

I have literally sticky fingers.

Let's do it.

[wouldbenagus]

It's space-roulette. Also, it's rigged.

Excellent. I'll be sure to get my best dabo girl to run it for you.

[what_the_shock]

Easy to alter the works. I am not above cheating cheaters.

Dabo girl?

I am also easily distracted by a pretty face.