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fandomhigh_ooc2008-09-28 10:38 pm
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Spotlight on Fandoms: Pirates of the Caribbean
The Plot!
Pirates of the Caribbean is the best darn movie based on a theme park ride ever. Trufax. The first movie, The Curse of the Black Pearl was wildly popular and made Disney a kazillion dollars, resulting in two sequels that made even less sense than the first one, but it didn’t really matter because they starred Johnny Depp in eyeliner and Orlando Bloom being wet for hours at a time.
Okay, maybe that’s why I watched. Details.
In The Curse of the Black Pearl, according to IMDB, blacksmith Will Turner teams up with Jack Sparrow to save his love, Elizabeth Swann, the governor’s daughter, from Jack’s former crew, who are now undead.
I SWEAR IT MAKES SLIGHTLY MORE SENSE.
Okay, no it doesn’t, but it sure is a lot of fun, and really, who goes to a pirate movie for the plot?
In Dead Man’s Chest Will and Elizabeth are supposed to be getting married, but that plan’s interrupted when both are arrested for aiding in Jack Sparrow's escape. The new Big Guy In Charge, Lord Beckett of the East India Trading Company (…just go with it…) will lift all charges, if Will can hunt down Jack and bring him back to Beckett, along with his magic compass (one that doesn’t point north. Last movie it pointed towards the Isle de Muerta, where the Pearl made bearth, but it turns out that the compass actually points towards your heart’s desire. Aww.).
Jack’s got other problems. Years ago, he made a deal with Davy Jones to raise the Black Pearl in exchange for his soul. Once Will finds Jack, unaware that Will is wanting to sell him out like a selling-out thing, he talks Will into boarding Davy Jones's ship, the Flying Dutchman, and retrieve a mysterious key. This key opens the chest that contains Davy Jones's beating heart (it is gross). With it, you can control Davy Jones and his fearsome beast, the Kraken. Jack’s hoping to use this as leverage to renegotiate his whole “gonna die” thing. Once Will retrieves the key, Davy Jones is hot on his trail, now hunting down both Jack and Will.
Add in a now-drunk ex-Commodore Norrington, Will’s not-so-dead father who’s a mate on the Flying Dutchman and you need a LOT of rum to even pretend this movie makes sense. (It doesn’t. Just FYI.)
In At World’s End we bring back Barbossa, who’s not so dead as originally thought and meet up with the entire pirate Brethren Court (pirates from around the world, so we get to bring in Chow Yun Fat in a rockin’ hat) to fight back against Lord Beckett, who now has Davy Jones’ heart and thus control over the seas (again, don’t ask). Everyone double-crosses each other at least twice, Elizabeth becomes king of the pirates and there’s a kickass battle at the end of the movie (and we get to hear Barbossa’s sexxah voice. You will never be the same. And not in a good way.)
The Characters!
I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically. --Jack Sparrow
Jack Sparrow (played by Johnny Depp) is a pirate, the captain of the Black Pearl when it isn’t being taken over by Barbossa, and made of awesome. And rum. He’s a lot smarter than he looks and completely makes the movies. If I included all of the great Jack quotes, this recap would read like three movie scripts. If he can weasel his way out, he will, if he can make a profit on it, he will, and if he can drink it, he most certainly will. His true love is the Pearl and he’s sold his soul for it.
It's not your blood they needed. It was my father's blood. My blood... the blood of a pirate.--Will Turner
Will Turner (played by Orlando Bloom) is a whiny blacksmith that turns into a whiny pirate that turns into a badass pirate by the end of three movies. He also spends most of them in a torn and/or wet shirt. He’s not terribly bright, but that doesn’t really matter.
Elizabeth: So that's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.
Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.
Elizabeth Swann (played by Keira Knightley) is the governor’s daughter and easily the brightest person in the entire franchise. Granted, the bar is not set terribly high, but still. She starts out as a young girl with a slight obsession with pirates, ends up as a pirate king and married to Orlando Bloom. Not a bad day’s work.
The moonlight shows us for what we really are.--Barbossa
Hector Barbossa (played by Geoffrey Rush) is the bad guy in the first movie—he stole Jack’s ship after all—and is generally one of the best parts of the third movie. You might be shocked to know he doesn’t run a radio station or talk to squirrels throughout the trilogy.
Commodore Norrington: Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the remainder of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase "silent as the grave". Do I make myself clear?
James Norrington (played by Jack Davenport) is in love with Elizabeth when we first meet him, and that stays fairly true throughout the trilogy. Norrington, after being dumped for Will Turner, turns all of his energy towards finding Jack Sparrow (cue the many, many fics), it ends badly and he ends up drunk and destitute (cue the many, many rants on the assassination of his character).
Davy Jones: I cannot be summoned like some... mongrel pup!
Lord Cutler Beckett: Apparently, you can.
Davy Jones (played by Bill Nighy) is the captain of the Flying Dutchman, the holder of the life debt of Jack Sparrow and managed to singlehandedly make a complicated movie even more complicated. His story is linked to a tragic love story with the goddess of the sea, but even trying to explain it gives me a headache, so just watch the last two movies. And if you figure it out, can you explain it to me, too?
Where Can I Find These Movies?!
Amazon.com, baby. Or TBS when they’re running them. They’re a lot of fun—especially the first.
Pirates of the Caribbean is the best darn movie based on a theme park ride ever. Trufax. The first movie, The Curse of the Black Pearl was wildly popular and made Disney a kazillion dollars, resulting in two sequels that made even less sense than the first one, but it didn’t really matter because they starred Johnny Depp in eyeliner and Orlando Bloom being wet for hours at a time.
Okay, maybe that’s why I watched. Details.
In The Curse of the Black Pearl, according to IMDB, blacksmith Will Turner teams up with Jack Sparrow to save his love, Elizabeth Swann, the governor’s daughter, from Jack’s former crew, who are now undead.
I SWEAR IT MAKES SLIGHTLY MORE SENSE.
Okay, no it doesn’t, but it sure is a lot of fun, and really, who goes to a pirate movie for the plot?
In Dead Man’s Chest Will and Elizabeth are supposed to be getting married, but that plan’s interrupted when both are arrested for aiding in Jack Sparrow's escape. The new Big Guy In Charge, Lord Beckett of the East India Trading Company (…just go with it…) will lift all charges, if Will can hunt down Jack and bring him back to Beckett, along with his magic compass (one that doesn’t point north. Last movie it pointed towards the Isle de Muerta, where the Pearl made bearth, but it turns out that the compass actually points towards your heart’s desire. Aww.).
Jack’s got other problems. Years ago, he made a deal with Davy Jones to raise the Black Pearl in exchange for his soul. Once Will finds Jack, unaware that Will is wanting to sell him out like a selling-out thing, he talks Will into boarding Davy Jones's ship, the Flying Dutchman, and retrieve a mysterious key. This key opens the chest that contains Davy Jones's beating heart (it is gross). With it, you can control Davy Jones and his fearsome beast, the Kraken. Jack’s hoping to use this as leverage to renegotiate his whole “gonna die” thing. Once Will retrieves the key, Davy Jones is hot on his trail, now hunting down both Jack and Will.
Add in a now-drunk ex-Commodore Norrington, Will’s not-so-dead father who’s a mate on the Flying Dutchman and you need a LOT of rum to even pretend this movie makes sense. (It doesn’t. Just FYI.)
In At World’s End we bring back Barbossa, who’s not so dead as originally thought and meet up with the entire pirate Brethren Court (pirates from around the world, so we get to bring in Chow Yun Fat in a rockin’ hat) to fight back against Lord Beckett, who now has Davy Jones’ heart and thus control over the seas (again, don’t ask). Everyone double-crosses each other at least twice, Elizabeth becomes king of the pirates and there’s a kickass battle at the end of the movie (and we get to hear Barbossa’s sexxah voice. You will never be the same. And not in a good way.)
The Characters!
Jack Sparrow (played by Johnny Depp) is a pirate, the captain of the Black Pearl when it isn’t being taken over by Barbossa, and made of awesome. And rum. He’s a lot smarter than he looks and completely makes the movies. If I included all of the great Jack quotes, this recap would read like three movie scripts. If he can weasel his way out, he will, if he can make a profit on it, he will, and if he can drink it, he most certainly will. His true love is the Pearl and he’s sold his soul for it.
Will Turner (played by Orlando Bloom) is a whiny blacksmith that turns into a whiny pirate that turns into a badass pirate by the end of three movies. He also spends most of them in a torn and/or wet shirt. He’s not terribly bright, but that doesn’t really matter.
Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.
Elizabeth Swann (played by Keira Knightley) is the governor’s daughter and easily the brightest person in the entire franchise. Granted, the bar is not set terribly high, but still. She starts out as a young girl with a slight obsession with pirates, ends up as a pirate king and married to Orlando Bloom. Not a bad day’s work.
Hector Barbossa (played by Geoffrey Rush) is the bad guy in the first movie—he stole Jack’s ship after all—and is generally one of the best parts of the third movie. You might be shocked to know he doesn’t run a radio station or talk to squirrels throughout the trilogy.
James Norrington (played by Jack Davenport) is in love with Elizabeth when we first meet him, and that stays fairly true throughout the trilogy. Norrington, after being dumped for Will Turner, turns all of his energy towards finding Jack Sparrow (cue the many, many fics), it ends badly and he ends up drunk and destitute (cue the many, many rants on the assassination of his character).
Lord Cutler Beckett: Apparently, you can.
Davy Jones (played by Bill Nighy) is the captain of the Flying Dutchman, the holder of the life debt of Jack Sparrow and managed to singlehandedly make a complicated movie even more complicated. His story is linked to a tragic love story with the goddess of the sea, but even trying to explain it gives me a headache, so just watch the last two movies. And if you figure it out, can you explain it to me, too?
Where Can I Find These Movies?!
Amazon.com, baby. Or TBS when they’re running them. They’re a lot of fun—especially the first.
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