Memeage: The "WTF, Canon, WTF" Edition.

[brat_inslayage]

bigbadgunn was demanding a meme, and trigons_child was WTFing over canon earlier, and I need something to keep me from throttling coworkers today, so I ended up stealing this old one from trickster_twin that we haven't done since (I think) last January. I'm stealing her post text directly, too. You can blame her too; she hooked me up with WTFy spoilerage this morning.

Canon. We all have to deal with it, as our characters, y'know, come from it and all. And sometimes there are parts that make us go "WTF" or headdesk or threaten to burn effigies of the writers/executive producers/directors/dudes who drove past the set one day.

And then there are the things that make us go "No. No. No no no. No. Noooooo. No. No. No no. No. No no no. No." Really? Sixteen no's?

So, game, what part of your canon will you not touch with a ten-foot pole and why? Let your rage out, it's a good day for it.

Or hey, general "WTF CANON WTF" moments fit in here too, I figure.

Comments

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe will never ever turn into a heartless bitch and treat Cole like he's the ultimate evil, NOR will she ignore everything about who she is and her responsibilities to sleep her way through the quest to find her baby daddy that she saw in some damn vision. *mutters*

[demonbelthazor]

Because if you do, I will never RP with you again. ;)

[longislandiceme]

Bobby is not macking on mystique. Ever. Ever ever ever.

...ever!

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

o.O Daddy?

[mycanonhatesme]

OH DEAR GOD WE COULD BE HERE ALL DAY. So I will pick the first thing off the top of my head and say that the whole Doomsday thing? Where the super evil Glory Doomsday is trapped in the body of poor human Ben Davis and he can't control when Doomsday comes out but then he meets Chloe and despite the fact that Chloe is in love with Jimmy Olsen she starts to fall for Davis too and then Doomsday wrecks her wedding but she still gets married to Jimmy and starts being with Davis on the side and it turns out that Chloe's love can make Davis capable of controlling Doomsday which means it's really bad when she tells him she can't be with him anymore and then Davis goes after Jimmy and Jimmy goes after Davis back and THEY BOTH KILL EACH OTHER and EVERYONE CHLOE LOVES DIES AT THE SAME TIME and WTF WRITERS THIS IS WHY I CHANGED MY JOURNAL NAME.

Ahem. Yeah, that. No no no no no.

[weetuskenraider]

CAPSLOCK MORE, KATIE. SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE MY OWN WTFERY IS DISPROPORTIONAL. ;)

[life_inshadow]

I have to use it because if I ignored it I'd be ignoring a pretty key bit of information about magic in the Buffyverse, but ....OMGWTF MARTI NOXON MAGIC IS NOT ADDICTIVE WTF WTF WTF.

I feel better now

They could have stuck with the "power corrupts" concept, but nooooo. They had to give Tara half a season of reminding Willow she was using Too Much Magic every other episode until Willow was all strung-out black-eyed magic junkie.

Also, there are some people who interpret Tara's reactions to her father as being that of someone who was sexually abused. I have absolutely no intention of going in that direction -- it's fanon, and not something I'm comfortable writing.

[brat_inslayage]

Also, there are some people who interpret Tara's reactions to her father as being that of someone who was sexually abused.

...yeah, gotta say I never read it that way at all. Emotionally and physically, yes, but not sexually.

*joins you in the capslocky WTFing*

[bitten_notshy]

Okay. So, in canon, Jack's relationship with a woman is with a VERY VERY VERY VERY BORING 40-year-old authoress who Sebastien has already made a courtesan. She is BORING and EXTRANEOUS and did I say BORING?

Jack in Fandom has much better taste.

Edit: And I'm also not dealing with the end of canon, but everybody already knew that.

[trigons_child]

I've already WTF'd over Raven being a portal to heaven and hell and how her father randomly gave her dreadlocks and dressed her like Leeloo in The Fifth Element, not to mention how she's randomly become a ninja in recent issues (as in doing flips and kicking ass). Today I was innocently wandering through Wikipedia, reading the articles about the various Legionnaires from The Legion of Superheroes, the DC comic series that takes place in the 31st century.

Anyway. So apparently the long-time arch-nemesis of Legion, Mordru, a Lord of Chaos and powerful sorcerer, was making yet another attempt to destroy the Legion and take over the world. He wants to take out Mysa, aka the White Witch, because she's a powerful sorceress and he wants to nom on her powers. Mysa's forced to use dark magic to destroy Mordru, which turns her hair and costume black. Yes, she's embraced the power of the Dark Side. And then it says this:

At the conclusion of the story, the Black Witch remains a member of the Legion. However, Blok senses great trouble with his love's transformation. His concern increases as she returns to Sorcerer's World and claims Mordru's throne, vowing a vigilance against evil. Later, Blok again reaches the Sorcerers' World, only to find the Black Witch sitting on a throne in front of several spellcasters imprisoned in the stone behind her. Poking out of the wall are the faces of Alan Scott, the Green Lantern wizard Torquemada, Blue Devil, Zatanna, Raven and Kid Devil. Later, both she and Blok cement their relationship, hoping to use Mordru's dark powers for the good of the planet.

WTF. So my girl's still kicking in the 31st century. Well...sorta, if by "kicking" you mean "stuffed into a wall by a good witch who's absorbed a little too much evil." And since this was part of a limited series, as far as I know, that little storyline is unresolved.

WTF. IN A WALL. SEND HELP. AND A CHISEL.

[brat_inslayage]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR!

*ahem*

[brat_inslayage]

So there isn't actually much I, personally, would change about the last 13 episodes of Buffy because I Am A Crazy Person. I mean, the entire last season as a whole, yes, and I would totally go back and establish elements of the S7 story arc much earlier so it's not a last-minute rush of exposition and new people, and don't even talk to me about most of S6, but.

Anyway, the end of "The Killer In Me" comes to mind because I reffed it IG yesterday. Much as I love, love, love that episode, I hate Kennedy's dialogue at the end of the last scene like burning. The entire "I think I'm figuring this whole magic thing out. It's just like fairy tales." "What are you doing?" "Bringing you back to life" exchange is SO PAINFULLY ASININE I CAN'T EVEN START. It gets points back for "Huh. I am good," but wtfno. (What? No. I don't have that entire scene memorized. I've never watched it too many times. What are you talking about?)

I mean god. I am totally on board with the general idea of where they were going but come on, that phrasing, oh my god it makes me cringe.

Then there's my serious love/hate relationship with the S8 comics, emphasis on the hate. There are some good moments, some meh ones, some really bad ones, and then there's the entire Saga Vasuki plotline with Willow that pisses me off and creeps me out and makes me CAPSLOCKILY RAGEY and I'm really not going to go into more detail than that because everybody I have told about it inevitably responds with like a half screen of ".................", the WTFery is that strong. (If you've read the "Time Of Your Life" Fray crossover arc you probably know what I'm talking about.)

And now, on to my other characters. Brace yourself.

OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION.

WTF COMICS, WAY TO COMPLETELY SUBVERT EVERYTHING I LOVED ABOUT THE SERIES FINALE.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF BIG SPOILER OF WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

Ugh. The Fray crossover. I was so excited by the fact I was going to get new canon. The first issue I was okay with. After that it was just a huge disappointment. Maybe i'll fix that some day.

[angelandwitch.livejournal.com]

One word:



There will be no uber Mary Sue witch, please and thank you.

[sensethevisions]

THIS

[bigbadgunn.livejournal.com]

Comic book. Hell A? Vampire?

Oh HELL no!

[wantstocheer.livejournal.com]

*blinkblink*

WUT?

[ancientbschamp.livejournal.com]

The ironic thing here is I'm so much less "OMG THAT NEVER HAPPENED" about Xena canon than, like, anybody else I know. Like I kept getting flamed on mailing lists for being all "Um, I actually had no problem with that storyline" about stuff.

I actually got into a huge big discussion about this with divinesurfchick last night. The Dahak storyline in S3 of Xena is so very squicktastic and auuuuuuuuugh, and yet I can't just ignore it completely because it sets up for events I want to have happen. (Oh, you thought I was gonna say I wasn't touching the Rift arc. Psssht. Just 'cause everybody else in the fandom hated it? Hell no, I love that one. Look, I know it drove the shippers absolutely nuts, and no, I am not completely without objections when it comes to how exactly it came about, but I'm sorry. You cannot take two people like Xena and Gabrielle who come from complete polar opposite backgrounds, not when you've built up an entire show for two and a half seasons around the fact that they are so different from each other, and realistically expect that a situation will never come up where they both (legitimately) believe they're completely in the right about something and end up opposing each other on the issue. It was going to happen, and it had to happen. With that kind of character dynamic, it was inevitable. And I loved it.) I figured out a workaround for the al;sjdfl;ajslkfjl EW EW WTF GOD NO part though, so woo! \o/

Also, "Married With Fishsticks" is never happening. There is something seriously wrong with that episode. And where most people like to say they choose to use "When Fates Collide" as the series finale and ignore "Friend In Need" completely . . . I'd like to disavow "When Fates Collide." :P Overrated piece of nauseatingly fanservicey schmoop. Although Renee O'Connor acts the hell out of it.

. . . oh, and season 5. Just in general. The first couple of episodes can stay (hello, Gabrielle picking up the red leather outfit even though the S6 outfit was better, and the sai as a weapon, and utterly kicking ass, yes, even with you hyena girl from "The Pack", Amarice the Annoying Amazon) but that season went so downhill so fast from there.

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

THAT WHOLE NOVEL (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Skins-Novel-Ali-Cronin/dp/1444900048). Srsly.

There will be no getting drunk and wailing and proclaiming she wants to die because her mum slept with the middle-aged Italian guy she decided she loved after knowing for two weeks.

As for real TV show canon... Never touching that whole 'hit me, I want to feel something' request of that guy she loves. For completely different reasons. I don't think I'll let her get THAT messed up.

[wantstocheer.livejournal.com]

Never touching that whole 'hit me, I want to feel something' request of that guy she loves

That's... disturbing as hell.

[wantstocheer.livejournal.com]

So that whole thing in S3 where Claire does really really stupid shit because she can't feel pain after Sylar scrambles her brains?

Not happening.

Heroes canon is so full of fail that I'm sure there are other things I'll be ignoring but a lot of them don't directly involve Claire, so it'll be easy enough.

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Ahem. Luke/CHICK WHO LIVES IN A COMPUTER?

NOT HAPPENING.

Nor is his arc of "let's go to the Dark Side just to see if it's as bad as I've heard".

[sensethevisions]

*blinks*

He what?>!!!

[icecoldfrost]

*looks at Marvel canon*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRACK.

Although I think the only thing I might not touch is the being-a-stripper bit, because I don't have those issues and I wouldn't be surprised if it gets retconned out anyway. They've already given Emma at least three different origins at this point, and there's still big gaps in her backstory, so I'm just going to wait and see.

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

The majority of Grey's Anatomy is one big clusterfuck for the most part. I've gotten good at ignoring A LOT because, if I don't, my head will explode. That said, no more:

GHOST SEX. This one doesn't directly involve Alex but SHONDA RHIMES, YOU OFFENDED ME WITH THIS SDKLFJSKLDJFKLDJ.

And directly related to Alex, I cannot fathom how he kept going back to Ava/Rebecca after EVERYTHING and kept constantly letting her back in and kept getting his heart CRUSHED. So, I doubt I'll have him crawling back to anyone because after all the buildup of him being UBER BADASS I HAVE NO FEELINGS man, he totally let this girl walk all over him for like a season and a half. Not that that's in dire trouble of happening here (THANKFULLY) but yeah, no turning him into a pansy man.

[one-who-goes.livejournal.com]

In the novel, Henry's wife keeps having miscarriages because the fetuses inherit the time travel gene.

It's bloody and squicky and awful, and almost kills her, and at the height of it she refuses to quit trying for a biological child because "adopting would be a lie."

That exchange was enough to kind of wreck Clare for me, because WTF, selfish much?

[likes_scoundrels]

...so her fetuses time travel out of her womb and die? O.O

[intraspective]

“All Ino does is cry.”

WTF NO. BAD KISHI. NO COOKIE. Plz to be remembering your character’s personalities.

*mutters*

On Hinata’s side of things... I don’t really have anything to complain about specifically that has anything to do with her actions. She is amazing and adorable and I am SO PROUD of her. Even if Naruto is a dumbass. Dumbass.

[likes_scoundrels]

First of all, any time Lucas claims he planned for Luke and Leia to be twins all along? He's so full of shit.

Second: so in Empire when Luke has visions of Leia and Han being tortured (THANKS DAD) and decides he's going to go off and save them, Yoda and Obi-Wan do their best to try to talk him out of it. As we know, Luke is having none of this and off he goes. "That boy is our last hope," Obi-Wan says. "No. There is another," Yoda says. EXCEPT THAT OTHER IS LEIA AND IF LUKE DIES/GOES DARK SIDE, CHANCES ARE GOOD SHE'S LOST, TOO. SO WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN BLASÉ ABOUT IT?

Shouldn't the exchange have gone like this?

"That boy is our last hope."

"No, there is another."

"Except that other is the person he's trying to save. And if he fails, we've lost them both."

"Yes, screwed we are."

[momslilassassin]

DUDE. YES.

Ghosti-Wan: "That boy is our last hope."

Yoda: "No, there is another."

Ghosti-Wan: "Yeah, I was there was Bail was all 'dibs, I get the girl', okay? I know who it is, too. God."

[vanillajello]

Ask me again once S2 starts. I'm actually pretty fine with everything in canon at this point. I guess it helps that there's only about 6 hours of it, anyway. Not much room for too much 'no no no no'.

Or maybe I'm just blocking the WTF-worthy stuff from my mind?

Either way, I had no problems with everything that's happened in canon so far being canon for FH!Kate as well. We'll see whether that changes when we finally get to the new stuff.

[chosehumanity]

Short canons ftw? Even with S2, I've had nothing to complain about. KING OF THE FRIGGIN VAMPIRES.

[weetuskenraider]

Oh, I'll keep this one simple.

Dark Nest trilogy.

Legacy of the Force story arc.

NO. ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY NOT NO.

[momslilassassin]

*rubs your forearms*

[atreideslioness]

Any book written after God Emperor? DOES NOT EXIST. AT ALL. And I only acknowledge God Emperor for future_sandworm's sake.

WTF TEN CHILDREN? WTF GHOLAS OF PAUL AND CHANI? WTF WTF? Frank Herbert was sharing some of the Bad Crack with Orson Scott Card, I swear.

[bitchprince]

Oh, Season 2. Where to begin...

1) ARTHUR IS NOT THAT MUCH OF A FRICKING MORON. Or at least he shouldn't be, considering he's supposed to become king some day. You have a very well-spoken and intelligent actor on your hands, writing staff. Listen to him.

2) Morgana-what's-her-name? Or: HI, REMEMBER YOUR KICKASS FEMALE CHARACTER? YEAH. WE DO.

3) I'm still not sure what to think of the GIANT FRICKING RESET BUTTON in Sins of the Father, but that sure as hell isn't going down the same way in my universe.

4) The love that all of a sudden. Gwen/Arthur, fine, it's legend. But put a little more effort in making it look natural rather than springing it on us from stage right. (Although again, kudos to Bradley for his choices acting-wise in the episodes that followed. Mmm.)

5) On a final 'remember' note, writing staff, take note: Merlin and Arthur are friends. Some of you remember this. Some of you don't. Those of you who don't can get smacked. Even if I do enjoy saying clotpole

6) needs moar C&B

[thatsamilkshake]

I SEE WHUT YOU DID THAR.

[endsthegame]

...yeah, Ender is never marrying a widow, raising her kids, letting her fuck off to a nunnery for people who don't have sex and following her only to literally waste away because he can't actually stand the life but feels responsible to live it.

QED.

[momslilassassin]

...you mean that's not how marriages work? Huh.

[demonbelthazor]

Oh, gods, when someone gets me going on S5 Charmed and especially "Centennial Charmed," the episode where they killed Cole off, it is truly a sight to behold. There is shaking my fist at the heavens, cursing, interpretive dances of my rage, and frothing. Seriously.

Originally Cole was supposed to die when the Source of All Evil was vanquished. I would've been sad, but ultimately I would've been OK with it. But they decided to bring him back instead. Except they decide to have the Charmed Ones all conveniently ignore the fact that Cole became the Source entirely against his will and start treating him like he did it deliberately. The writers did huge character assassinations on everyone involved, particularly Cole and Phoebe. Phoebe went from the warm-hearted squishy loving sister to a selfish shrew. Cole started having demonic strippers shapeshift into Phoebe to give him lapdances so he could then stab them. Really.

And then came "Centennial Charmed," which made no sense. Cole decides to go back in time to "when he and Phoebe were at their best," which he decides is the time immediately after Prue's death. Yeah, when he was on the run from bounty hunters and Phoebe and Piper were devastated by the loss of their sister and in constant danger from demons looking to take out the rest of the Charmed Ones. AT THEIR BEST MY ASS. And I'm going to stop now before I start flailing over the keyboard with rage. Stupid, stupid show.

[sensethevisions]

I. HATE. SEASON.5!!!!!

[therewaslife]

Since Bod's all post canon, I wouldn't be bringing anything of that into the game for the most part but I was actually pretty pleased by how his canon went. I never had a major WTF moment or wondered WTF Gaiman was smoking.

I'd say that's a benefit of a book canon but then I look up and see all those KSDLJFKLSDJFKLJD SW comments and keep it to myself. Teehee.

[atreideslioness]

Don't get too smug! Gaiman's blog gives the impression that he is working on two post-canon stories for Bod.

Of course, it's Gaiman, so I'm rather confident they will be Awesome and not of the WTF. :D