Meme: Quotes

[notarockharpist]

I can't come up with words to save my life lately, but that doesn't mean I haven't been compiling a big copypasta-ready file of other people's words for a while, so why not. And it looks like we haven't done this one since February of 2019.

Here's how this works: tag in with canon quotes from your characters. No (or little) context, just the quotes -- individually if you want, or several in one comment. Or make yourself a thread as looooooong as you want it to be. (I don't think this one has ever gone according to the directions anyway.)

People can tag in to those threads and either guess the context/situation, or ask you what it's about, or just comment on the quotes. This way we can all have a little amusement, dork about our canon a little, and maybe get in a little canon pimping on the side.

Or, you know, let's be real. Just spam your hearts out (I certainly will) with as much context/commentary as you want. I'm sorry about myself in advance.

Check back in for new stuff, etc., you know how it goes.

Comments

Breq

[justice_undone]

I like this meme!

“In a thousand years, Lieutenant, nothing you care about will matter. Not even to you—you’ll be dead. So will I, and no one alive will care. Maybe—just maybe—someone will remember our names. More likely those names will be engraved on some dusty memorial pin at the bottom of an old box no one ever opens.” Or Ekalu’s would. There was no reason anyone would make any memorials to me, after my death. “And that thousand years will come, and another and another, to the end of the universe. Think of all the griefs and tragedies, and yes, the triumphs, buried in the past, millions of years of it. Everything for the people who lived them. Nothing now.” Ekalu swallowed. “I’ll have to remember, sir, if I’m ever feeling down, that you know how to cheer me right up.” I smiled. “The point is, there is no point. Choose your own.”

Seivarden

[1000yearstoolate]

To Ekalu:
“I’ve been thinking about it, and I still don’t understand exactly why what I said hurt you so much. But I don’t need to. It hurt you, and when you told me it hurt you I should have apologized and stopped saying whatever it was. And maybe spent some time trying to understand. Instead of insisting that you manage your feelings to suit me. And I want to say I’m sorry. And I actually mean it this time.”

To Breq:
“You never knelt to get anywhere. You are where you are because you're fucking capable, and willing to risk everything to do right, and I'll never be half what you are even if I tried my whole life, and I was walking around thinking I was better than you, even half dead and no use to anyone, because my family is old, because I was born better.”

Have some 'Seivarden being reasonable' quotes.

Lucille

[crimson_sister]

I have posted this before, I think, but it's my favourite Lucille quote.

Lucille:
[Looking at the dead butterflies] They're dying. They take the heat from the sun, and when it deserts them, they die.

Edith:
How sad.

Lucille:
No, it's not sad, Edith. It's nature. It's a world of everything dying and eating each other right beneath our feet.

Edith:
Surely there's more to it than that.

Lucille:
[Looking at Edith] Beautiful things are fragile... At home we have only black moths. Formidable creatures, to be sure, but they lack beauty. They thrive on the dark and cold.

Edith:
What do they feed on?

Lucille:
Butterflies, I'm afraid.

Yasha / Beauregard

[notarockharpist]

Because I can't be bothered switching phone browsers or reorganizing this text file. Some funky formatting stuff here to differentiate between IC dialogue and OOC narration/chatter, the medium being what it is.

Also I want it on the record that I am actually exercising a modicum of self restraint and not just quoting the entire back half of last week's episode. Even though I REALLY REALLY WANT TO. This is gonna get super shippy and you know, I'm not even sorry.

[(Marisha) So as I look at Obann and he says "kill them all," and I start to slip into the sunken place, I feel the darkness come through like tunnel vision. And then I just close my eyes, and I resist him; when I open them, I am sitting next to the ocean in Nicodranas, meditating. And I breathe, and I'm going to use Stillness of Mind to end a charm effect.]

Caduceus: Are you all defiling the petrified temple of the Wildmother right now?
Beau: They're not temples. It's their huts!
Jester: We're just doing the houses!
Beau: These beds that people definitely masturbate in are not fucking temples.
Caduceus: They're cloisters, in the temple of the --
Yasha: What's a cloister?
Jester: It's a place where you masturbate.
Caduceus: Not arguing with that. Nope. Not arguing with that.
Yasha: So... it's okay then.

Beau: Don't run. You can say you don't believe in anything, and that's fine. Believe in us, just a little bit?

Beau: Last time I went through a complicated breakup, someone ended up in prison!

Yasha: I mean, worst comes to worst, we could totally fight [the dragon turtle] and Vokodo. We're strong enough to do that.
Fjord: At the same time?
Veth: I don't -- are you joking right now?
Yasha: Yes.
Veth: Your expression never changes, not even a little.
Yasha: No, I've been told I have a very dry sense of humor.

Beau: Yasha. Fjord. Fish market?
Yasha: It is my favored terrain.
(This was a live show, so honorable mention to the person in the audience who absolutely SCREAMED right then.)
Fjord: Maybe I should just excuse myself.

Yasha: I really wonder what they're going to come back with for our clothes? Hopefully it's nothing colorful. For me.
Beau: I wouldn't put that out into the universe.
Yasha: Yeah.
Fjord: You don't like bright colors?
Yasha: Well, I just like to wear simple -- I don't know, nothing flashy.
Beau: You like flowers, so you like color.
Yasha: That's like a -- those are beautiful.
Beau: I mean... you are too.
Fjord (who really should have excused himself, and also Travis OOC): Oh, Jesus.
Beau: You're gorgeous too, Fjord.
Yasha: Yeah, Fjord, you're great. You're both very beautiful... very gorgeous... Beau, you're so beautiful.
Beau: Mm-hmm.
Fjord: Did they put alcohol in your fish?

Beau: Do you think [Yasha's] into me?
Jester: I think she's so into you! I'm going to assume from you asking that you have not kissed her yet.
Beau: No... I feel like the ball's in her court, 'cause she's the one with the dead wife.

Yasha: Well, from my experience, which is not a lot, I've found that the passion and the love for somebody is stronger the more you know them. And the more you love them. And I've read books, but I don't feel like it's ever really like that. It's... better.

Beau: How's it going, by the way? How's that reading?
Yasha: It's pretty good.
Beau: It's a page turner?
Yasha: Yeah, it's a little dense but I got to some parts that... seemed kind of weird? Like it was a little sexy.
Jester, faux-innocently: Really?
Yasha: Yeah.
Jester: Sounds interesting. I wonder --
Yasha: It was like, you know talking about exercise, and then it was like... other forms of exercise, and then there were these drawings. It was a little strange.

Yasha: I never thought about picking flowers as a bad thing, but when you talk to plants it makes me feel a little funny.
Caduceus: Well, I mean, they grow back, so it's more of just --
Jester: It's like hair or fingernails. It's more like hair.
Fjord: Aww, you're pulling their fingernails out.
(...)
Beau: Technically, it's like picking their genitals.

Beau: I mean, it kind of feels like it's clear where they came from and what they wanted though, right?
Fjord: They did say --
Beau: What would you have said?
Vilya: I would have asked if they had reason to perhaps join our side, or...
Beau: That's more or less what I said when I said 'Fuck Vokodo,' am I right?
Jester: Next time, say 'fuck Vokodo' before you punch them in the face.

Yasha

[notarockharpist]

This one gets its own, because Yasha's dream sequences are amazing and this one made me ugly cry.

[(Matt) As you're going, and initially about to turn, that fear filling your soul, you spin around to look back towards the darkness, where you can see the storm is breaking behind you. It is more dangerous in front of you, and behind you there is promised respite and escape. In that moment, the thunder seems to form words: this rolling voice seems to come out of the storm itself that says, "Do not run from yourself. Overcome what faltered, and rise stronger."

You turn back around, swallow hard, and reach out and grab that feather, and as you do, there's a brief moment as you grasp it that the air seems to buzz with energy. That single moment where you sense the anticipation before something happens, and you look up just as a streaking blast of pure lightning energy streaks down towards you. What do you do?]

[(Ashley) I will look up at it and I will just say: "I do not want this fear anymore." And I will stand there and wait for it to hit me.]

[Matt) Okay. As you look up in that brief moment, without hesitation, you embrace the coming bolt, and as it hits you, you just see white. Your whole body vibrates with power, and for a moment you feel like every piece of your body is about to break apart and shatter. But it just stays at that threshold, and you embrace it.

As the light begins to fade, you can now see that dark abyss beneath you is alight with this faint blue glow, and beneath this glass-like surface, 10, 20, it's hard to say, 100 feet down, it is just an endless underwater hillside scape of broken chain link, tethered and tangled endlessly beneath you.

As you look within your hand, you see you hold that single white feather, and you look back up into the clouds, which now have swollen to encompass the entire sky and horizon around you. There is a single hole in the sky above. The voice once more crackling through the storm says, "Show me you can be reborn."]

[(Ashley) Okay. Um... I bamf out the wings.]

[(Matt) Your wings emerge: the withered, skeletal, bone-like black necrotic wings, the representation of your fallen self. The faint beginnings of those feathers you noticed -- still there, clinging to life at the edge of these almost... vestigial extensions of yourself, of your guilt, of the emotional turmoil that you hold and hoist upon your shoulders. And as you look up to the sky, you watch like flowers blossoming on the extended branches of a tree in the beginning of spring, more feathers begin to emerge and fill, and emerge and fill. And the darkness around you begins to glow, lit like a lantern that billows and brightens as the wings become full, angelic. The light itself is white and blue, and you can see, between the feathers, little sparks of energy.

As you look up towards that hole once more, you hear a voice. Female, familiar, distant, from below. You look down, and in the chains, you see a female form beckoning. The words, you can't quite make out, but it's calling to you. It sounds very much like Zuala.]

[(Ashley) Um... I crouch down, and I put my hand out.]

[(Matt) It breaks the surface. And you sense you could... go.]

[(Ashley) "I have to go." And I'll leap, leap up.]

[(Matt) As you withdraw your hand and alter your stance into a crouch as the wings unfurl, preparing to take their first beat, the voice says, "I'm proud of you. Don't let me be a shackle."

And with renewed strength you've not felt from an extension beyond your own arms, you fight your way up into the storm, this tunnel around you of lightning flashing all around you. Forcing your way up as high as you can until eventually you break past the clouds up into a night sky of stars, and two moons. As you look back down, the hole closes. The clouds become mist, and as the mist fades, you're looking down upon... land masses, water, Exandria. And it's a freedom you've not quite felt before, like you could go anywhere.]

Yasha / Beauregard

[notarockharpist]

This is the mostly episodes 92 and 93 angst section.

Beau: This is all I have, is the Mighty Nein, to the point where I was so desperate to control the situation of how I lost you all: by trying to sacrifice myself to that hag. Because I guess I thought if I could control the way that this ended -- even if it's as innocuous as growing apart -- that might be less painful. Because even the thought of simply becoming distant means that that would be the second family that would have happened to with me, so... I'm all in.

Beau: I liked traveling, and fighting, and talking to people, so... I wanted to take the Lionett wine, and expand it into Zadash, and we'd get this big name. And I tried to convince him several times to load up a cart and a couple horses, give me a few crates, and let me take off and see what I could do selling crates to different taverns, anyone who would take it. And he thought that was a useless waste of time, and that I would get hurt. Something would happen to me. And that it was best if I just learned how to crunch numbers and do accounting and balance books. He didn't want me to leave; he never wanted me to leave, because he was terrified that fate was going to come knocking at his door. And then, one day, I realized that I was building my whole life around what someone else told him his life was going to be, and that it was this endless fucking cycle of everyone chasing a destiny.

Beau: I think I've worked so hard because I scripted this day, in my inevitable future, that I would go back to him: successful woman, respectable member of society, Cobalt Soul, an Expositor, the thing he threw me away to and I embraced. And then I would get mad at myself, because I felt like I was doing exactly what he was doing to me my entire life: scripting me to be something else.

And I'm still doing it. I haven't seen him in three years, and I'm still trying to be... something. And I think what's scary is that I like this, and what I've found, and I don't think it was until Nott started talking about having to go home and go away that it truly started terrifying me.

Because for the first time, I'm happy. And what if that goes away?

Yasha: I feel a little bit like the forgiveness is almost harder to deal with. I feel like anger is an emotion that I know how to deal with, because that's where I live. But I feel like with everyone being so nice and accepting, I don't know how to handle it. I know I'm not handling it well. But I'm trying.

Nott: What if -- when your mom's not around, is that okay?
Beau: I think it's a little different. If you're talking about yourself, it is 100% different, and do not fucking compare yourself to my parents.
Nott: Well, I'm totally absent right now.
Beau: But there's a difference between pursuing the things that make you happy, and showing that, and being an example to your kids... and then just totally fucking being so self absorbed in your own damage that you just transfer all of that and neglect them.

Nott: What did you offer [the hag], Beau? I offered war.
Beau: I think TJ -- my little brother -- and Luc could be best friends. (...) I'm going to be a loner. I'm used to it. I'm comfortable there.
Nott: What does that mean? You'd be isolated or something?
Beau: The things we've done together? I'm never going to top that. And you're right, we have to fix you, because you have a son. You have a little boy to raise, and all of us are eventually going to find our own way. It's not going to last forever. And you know, maybe this is what it was all leading to. (...)
Jester: What are you talking about? ... Are you saying -- what are you saying?
Yasha: She's saying she'll leave all this.
Jester: You're going to leave us?
Beau: You all are the greatest family I could ever ask for. I can't -- I can't top this, you know.
Jester: Then don't offer that, don't offer that at all!
Beau: But, but -- think about it.
Nott: No, she's right. I mean --
[(Ashley, narrating, without missing a beat:) I walk in.]

Yasha: You say you want misery, and I have it in spades. What are you looking for?
Isharnai: You walk with heavy steps already. I don't know if you could offer me a fair trade; it's hard to feed from those who already wallow at the bottom. But I could turn that around for you if you'd like.
Yasha: How?
Isharnai: Well, what is it you dream of? What is it that eludes your grasp? What is something that you wish for on the night's cloudy sky?
Yasha: I don't know if you could give me what I want.
Isharnai: Perhaps I can't. I can do many things, but even I have my limitations.
Yasha: Can you bring people back from the dead?
Isharnai: It is difficult, but not impossible.
Yasha: So if you did it, if you could bring this person back... no. I -- we're here for one thing. I don't need anything from you, but I could give you something that would cause me a lot of misery to give you.
Isharnai: Yes?
Yasha: [I take out my book from Molly.] I have been collecting things for someone, to bring to them. These were for my wife. [And I pull out a flower from Molly.] I don't want to give these things away. But I can.
Isharnai: A good thought, but not equal. Not all journeys come to a resolution.
Yasha: I know one resolution, but I don't think it would end very well for you.
Isharnai: Do tell.
Yasha: Oh, I just meant I would kill you. Then maybe all of this would be resolved.

Yasha: You should be very proud of your daughter. You are very lucky to have her.
Thoreau Lionett: I agree.
Yasha: You should show her that more, then. If, for some reason, we end up killing this hag, will all of this go away?
Thoreau: I... don't know.
Yasha: Well, maybe that would help you remember what's important. Have a good night.

Yasha: I guess I thought maybe I should just die for every person that I've killed or something, but that's obviously not going to help anything.
Jester: It won't, because, you know, think of all the good you're going to be able to do now. If you died it would just end with the bad.
Yasha: Yeah. All you guys are very wonderful and have made me feel a lot better about the choices that I've made... and some of the choices that I have not made.
Beau: That must be a weird combination. A lot of people -- you know, kind of like the issue with Essek -- he consciously made a lot of those choices. That's not you. There's a big difference.

Beau: You know that feeling where, um, you didn't know something was wrong until someone told you, and you just... lived with it, this whole time?

Beau: Yeah, I just remember when we were having that dinner with Trent, and he started talking in our heads, and you made this face, and it made me realize that, I bet people talking in your heads is not comforting and for all that you've been through.
Yasha: It's weird. I mean it's... I guess whenever it happens, you know, it feels like you're never alone, but not in a good way, if that makes sense. I hope it doesn't happen again, but yeah, it's not fun.
Beau: Was that what it was like with Obann all the time?
Yasha: Yes and no. I wasn't in charge of what I was doing, if that makes any sense. I was completely aware, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. I think probably every single day about that time in the cathedral with you. And I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you because of me.
Beau: I knew it wasn't you, but, yeah, I can imagine. It actually sounds so much worse when you still have your own thoughts mixed with someone else's like -- probably be easier to just be lost.

Yasha / Beauregard

[notarockharpist]

Some lighter/funnier/way more shippy for the most part stuff as a palate cleanser.

Beau: Thanks for taking me on your maiden flight.
Yasha: Thanks for being my first passenger. Well -- how are you feeling?
Beau: Good – gr - yeah. Fu – great! Um. Uh. Probably better. It's -- long time. Good. Good long time.
Yasha: Yeah. Good. Good long time.
Beau: Good -– yeah. Better than.

Beau: Maybe that's how faces get trees. [beat] ... how trees get faces.
Yasha: What's weird is it totally made sense to me. I was like, "Yeah, you're right."

Beau: We're protective of you, and defensive of you.
Yasha: Yeah.
Beau: We're here because of Jester, not because of Traveler Con. Honestly, all you have to do is say the word, and we'll do whatever you want. It's always been the case, but also, if he hurts you, I'll kill him.

Beau: There's something about you. Kind of excited to see what it is, because first there was that Trent guy, now this Obann guy -- even Molly. Seems like you have a gravitational force around you, for better or for worse.
Yasha: Jester thinks that maybe I was a really, like, super good harp player.
Beau: Oh. Wow.
Yasha: I'm sticking to the hope that maybe I was just like traveling around, just like playing like a rock harp or something.
Beau: Rock harp. Yeah, no, that's metal.
Yasha: Yeah, real... like a... yeah. Like a metal harp. You know, I doubt that's the case, but we'll see. But -- thank you for not judging me, Beau.
Beau: Oh. Have you seen me? Who am I to fucking judge?
Yasha: I've seen you. I've seen you a lot.
[several seconds of increasingly awkward silence]
Beau: ... all right, let's get some sleep.
Yasha: Yeah, I'm pretty tired.

[(Laura) I'm trying to make eye contact with Beau to see if she just had sex.]
[(Marisha) It's probably hard to tell if I have or not.]

[(Ashley) Okay, I'm going to lean down to Beau and use Healing Hands on her, which will heal you for 12 hit points.]
Fjord: It's not a competition, okay?
Yasha: It's a competition.
Beau: Oh, yeah, keep touching me.

Beau: Look, we all get sad. I want you to know that. I haven't told you really any of this, but I also had a lonely childhood.
Jester: You did?
Beau: Yeah. I didn't have a lot of friends. My father was very protective because of certain things he believed, so I wasn't allowed to have a lot of friends. Really any friends.
Jester: You could have used the Traveler in your life too, then.
Beau: Maybe. Maybe I would've turned out a little more like you. I admire that in you. In my loneliness, I got angry and turned to bad things, but in your loneliness, you turned to creativity. I think that's beautiful. I really do.

Veth: Are you just not -- not?
Caduceus: No, not really.
Veth: Not into her, or just not into --
Caduceus: Oh, not into anybody. I enjoy what you all have going on. That's a lot of fun to watch. I mean, not there, specifically, but you know, just, we all bounce off each other, it's kind of great. But nah, it's not really for me.
Veth: It's not your thing?
Caduceus: No, not my thing.
Veth: Well, it must free up your mind and heart for --
Caduceus: So much.
Veth: So much other stuff.
Caduceus: Yeah. No. Gives me time to think about cooking, keeping everybody together, yeah.
Veth: And I, you know, I'm pretty set with my hubby, but... thinking about, you know, getting with somebody, or coupling or whatever, must take up a lot of psychic energy, right, Yasha?
Yasha: Oh, I imagine it probably does for... some people. I imagine it probably takes up, like every thought in their day.
Veth: Like, a lotta stress, probably.
Yasha: So much stress, probably just, like, I can't stop thinking about it.
Veth: Oh, you can't stop thinking about it? Or are you just talking hypothetically?
Yasha: No, I'm saying a hypothetical... if someone were in that position, you know? They would... they would think about it all the time and probably get really weird around the person.
Veth: Sure, sure.
Yasha: I imagine.
Caduceus: See how much fun this is to watch? It's crazy.
Veth: But that's not something that you feel?
Yasha: No, no. No. I feel like... No, that's not how I feel at all. Just giving you a hypothetical because I'm very empathetic and I understand where people are coming from.
Veth: All right.
Yasha: I'm just kidding, I'm not very empathetic.
Caduceus: Say, that's -- I recommend the monastery, you know? The monastic life is a good vibe for that.

Yasha: Yeah, she kind of, um -- she's taken me by surprise. I don't know, I don't know what it all means, but um --
Jester: She's a wonderful person.
Yasha: She's wonderful. She is. I know she's tough on the outside, but --
Jester: She's all warm and gooey on the inside.
Yasha: Yeah, she is.
Jester: Just like Yasha. Just like you. You're just a couple of marshmallows.
Yasha: I'm like a charred one.

Beau: I tried to empathize, and I'm done empathizing with ghosts.

Beau: But, full disclosure, the last time I went on a date -- Growing up, my idea of a date was to get tipsy and then commit a B&E and then get more tipsy and then maybe end the night with blackmail, depending on how the B&E went.

Beau: No one's ever written me a poem before.
Yasha, emphatically: Well, they should've.

(Just yelling about this next one all the time anyway tbh.)

[(Ashley) So it's -- At the top of it, it's a whole paragraph that is crossed out and scraped and you see some words like "Beau" and "abs," and "shorn," and "envelop," and things like that, and it's just crossed out. And underneath it:]

Beau:

Yeah, this was a poem, but then I realized it was a dumb poem and I can't write poetry. Sometimes, I have an easier time when I put the pen to parchment, so here it goes.

I've watched you. I don't mean that in a creepy way. I mean, I am a little bit of a creep, but I know that you know this by now; it takes me a minute to open up. So I watch, I observe, I take it all in as opposed to letting it all out. I guess the only time I let it all out is when I fight, which I'm not sure is the healthiest thing in the world. But here's some things that I've noticed about you: You're strong, you're a leader, you're really smart, you're really funny, you're honest even if it hurts.

But the thing that really gets me about you is that you love so fiercely. And I know you feel like an asshole most days, but I kind of like that you're an asshole. You stick up for the people you love, and you make me feel stronger. I can hold my own. I know that you know that, but you make me feel safe. I don't even know if that makes sense. But I know, no matter what, you'll have my back, no questions asked.

-- Yasha

Yasha / Beauregard

[notarockharpist]

And finally, the parts of last week's episode that I limited myself to quoting. This took colossal willpower, I will have you know, because that episode made me fucking feral. It's been 430 hours of slow burn, I'm allowed, dammit.

Yasha: What are these most glorious creatures?
Beau: These are wiener dogs.

Yasha: I've been trying to keep my distance from you -- when I found out that he was listening and they were watching. But I just -- I've had a lot of people in my head, and I don't want to give them you. So.
Beau: Are you talking about Lucien?
Yasha: Yeah, and I just -- I don't want them to see that I -- That I -- fuck!
Beau: I mean...
Yasha: That's not what I -- that sounded weird. I don't want them to know that I care about you, because I don't know if they're going to use that in some way, you know?
Beau: Yeah.
Yasha: But -- fuck it, I guess, you know?

Beau: So how did you and Molly meet?
Yasha: Well, when I was going through the wastes of Xhorhas, when I was not quite myself for weeks or maybe a month, however long it was, I don't know. When I finally came to, he was the first person that I saw. And... he was so beautiful. I had been in -- just -- there was no color, there was no life. There was no anything out there in the wastes in Xhorhas. And then when I saw him, he was a kindred spirit. And he introduced me to everybody in the circus, and they took me in, and him and I were the best of friends. And I was weird and he was weird. We all were weird. And he just completely accepted me for who I was, and he didn't ask any questions, but he changed my life in a very big way.

Beau: It's interesting, you talking about Molly being this burst of color in your monochromatic life, because part of the reason you stood out like a sore thumb is because you were this black and white and gray monochromatic vision amongst this fairytale of color.

Beau: Hey. I just want you to know, just before we continue this, whatever this night is, that I have no expectations, and at the end of all of this, if it just -- You have the reassurance of knowing that I'm somebody that you can come and talk to, if you need to, and that's -- That's enough for me.
Yasha: Thank you for saying that. I feel the same way. But at the same time, I -- Things really changed for me when we went to Kamordah, and I saw you with your family, and I got a glimpse into how your world was when you were growing up. And I -- I fell in love with you in Kamordah. I just -- that just came out so fast. I didn't know that was going to come out right then... I don't have expectations either, but I really care about you, and I just hope, if anything, that you know I'm so proud of the person that you've become. Just seeing where you started and where you are now, you have completely done that on your own. And I just -- I'm -- You blow me away.

Beau: When I was in Kamordah, that fear of losing this family? I almost sabotaged it, just so I wouldn't have to deal with the angst and the anguish of wondering if and when and how this family will fall apart. Like ripping off a band-aid that was never there, or I guess, over a wound that was never there. Just trying to rip it off for the pain, and nothing else.

[(Marisha:) So I'm kind of on top of Yasha, right? Because we were in the middle of this heated makeout. So as I'm kind of straddling her, I'm like: "Sorry, babe. Gotta handle these ninjas." And without really moving much, I just cartwheel off of her into a standing position. And I take out my staff, and I do a really extra flourish for no real reason, and then I go after the ninjas.]

[(Liam) The whole room darkens as the few globules that are here dim, dim, dim, dim, and once again you're in a little, small, intimate pocket of light in this giant chamber. And then you start to see illusory fireworks in the dark above you. And as you look at each other's faces in this hot tub, you see those lights reflected on each other's beautiful faces, reds and blues and greens.]

Beau: Hey.
Yasha: Hey.
Beau: I love you too.
Yasha: That's the best thing I've ever heard.
Beau: [I just lay my head on her shoulder.] Enjoy the show.
Yasha: Oh, but at some point, I am very curious about something in your --
Beau: The mirror?
Yasha: -- bedroom. Yes, yes, yes. The mirror in your bedroom.
Beau: Bed is made, whenever you're ready.
Yasha: We'll enjoy the show first.
Beau: Okay.

There I'm done okay bye.

[my_own_advocate]

I feel like I use enough gifs that I've already quoted like, half this show in one form or another, but the Season 1 episode about Lucifer befriending a priest has been on my mind, so... have a few quotes that have been on my mind but I haven't found GIFs of yet.

Linda: Have you ever considered that all of this excessive partying may be your attempt to fill a void?
Lucifer: "Attempt"? I filled five voids last night.
Linda: That's not what I meant.

Father Frank: We all have demons inside.
Lucifer: My demon tends the bar.

Father Frank: It's okay. I'm not afraid of dying.
Lucifer: Well, you should be. It's really boring where you're going.
Father Frank: Hope so. I've had enough excitement for one life.
Lucifer: Stop talking like that! You've got more to do here, you've got more people to annoy!

Lucifer: You... You cruel, manipulative bastard. Is this all part of Your plan? It's all just a game to You, isn't it? Eh? Well, I know punishment, and he did not deserve that. He followed Your stupid rules and it still wasn't good enough! So what does it take to please You? Break Your rules, and you fall. Follow them, and you still lose! Doesn't matter whether you're a sinner! Doesn't matter whether you're a saint! Nobody can win, so what's the point? What's the bloody point?

And a smattering from the rest of S1 (which is not my favorite but definitely has some of the better monologues) -

Chloe: I can't believe that I would let myself care for him again. I mean, why? So I get hurt?
Lucifer: Um, no, because you're a kind person who puts the needs of others before your own. It's a horrible irony that my father invented.

Chloe: What happened?
Lucifer: Where do I begin? With the grandest fall in the history of time? Or perhaps the far more agonizing punishment that followed? To be blamed for every morsel of evil humanity's endured, every atrocity committed in my name? As though I wanted people to suffer. All I ever wanted was to be my own man here. To be judged for my own doing. And for that? I've been shown how truly powerless I am. That even the people trusted — the one person, you — could be used to hurt me.

[my_own_advocate]

And okay, a little season two because I MISS LUCIFER'S MOM (played by Tricia Helfer) SO MUCH

Goddess: I apologize for my human form, but…at least this one has supreme hindquarters.
Lucifer: You're lying.
Goddess: No. They're quite sturdy, feel it.
Lucifer: I wasn't referring, nor will I ever refer, to your butt, Mother.

Goddess: [about humans] They eat, darling. All they do is eat. And then afterwards, the food comes out changed, and not for the better.

Maze: And how's that human husband?
Goddess: I discovered a trick with him. Whenever he asks a question, I have sex with him. Seems to render him mute.

And a non-funny one I love:

Lucifer: Nobody chooses to be a sin-eater, Detective! [calmer] No one wants to be custodian of the world's filth. Why would they? Absorbing the worst humanity has to offer, day in and day out,... It changes you.
Chloe: So you think it's the job's fault that they started to punish?
Lucifer: People don't arrive broken. They start with passion and yearning, until something comes along that disabuses them of those notions.

I'm so sad the flashback episode for S3 doesn't have more quotes available, but have another serious one that breaks my heart.

Amenadiel: Thanks for your help. I mean, I will admit that I was a bit skeptical of your plan, but this might actually work.
Lucifer: Yes, of course it'll work, Brother. That's why you asked me, remember? Someone crafty, smart--
Amenadiel: And evil. [laughs good-naturedly]
Lucifer: [a bit stunned] Evil?
Amenadiel: Well, if you want to find a deplorable criminal, you just ask... Well, you know what I mean, Lucy. Come on. You are the Devil, after all.

[sharp_man]

Always have to go with:

"Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude."

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie's giant speech at Believe Expo is amazing, but there's one passage that I've always been really fond of:

"I mean, tickets start at -- what, a hundred and seventy bucks so that these people can tell you how to get to Heaven? How do they know? How does anybody know? When the Bible was written, life expectancy was thirty years old. I mean, I’m not so sure you’re supposed to take it literally. It also says it’s a sin to eat shrimp. What, if you're gay or if you're Gandhi, you're going to hell? And if you have sex before marriage, that's not immoral. That's human."

And then her wisdom at the end of season two:

"If you jump ship and let the assholes steer, you're part of the problem."

[flourish_or_perish]

Faye has some great wisdom that occasionally pokes itself out when she drops the bimbo act for two seconds:

“The past is the past and the future is the future. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. The present is the present. I am who I am and you are who you are. That’s all there is to it. Does it really matter? Or do we just think it does?”

“They often say that humans can’t live alone. But you can live pretty long by yourself. Instead of feeling alone in a group, it’s better to be alone in your solitude.”

And of course, the one that her username comes from:

“Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. We deceive or we are deceived. Thus, we flourish or perish. Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others. That is the lesson.”

[long_memory]

Black Sails speeches are just *chef's kiss* It's why the cast dealt with such brutal filming environments for four years.

Silver: I'm no one, from nowhere, belonging to nothing. I’m a wretch like you. And yet mountains of gold have changed hands because I chose it. Thousands of men in Nassau are living in fear of my return because I decreed it. Hundreds of dead redcoats in a forest not far from here, because I made it so. I’m the reason grown men lie awake at night.

---

Flint: No one's past is that unremarkable.
Silver: Not unremarkable, just… without relevance. A long time ago, I absolved myself from the obligation of finding any. No need to account for all my life's events in the context of a story that somehow defines me. Events, some of which, no one can divine any meaning from other than that the world is a place of unending horrors. I’ve come to peace with the knowledge… that there is no storyteller imposing any coherence, nor sense, nor grace upon those events. Therefore, there’s no duty on my part to search for it.

---

Silver: I once thought that to lead men in this world, to be liked was just as good as feared, and that may very well be true. But to be both liked and feared all at once is an entirely different state of being in which, I believe, at this moment, I exist alone. The men need to know they’re in good favor with me. They need it, and there is nothing they won’t do to make sure they have it.

---

And my fave, from the shark date:

Silver: You know, I’ve had my fill of hearing you go on about this crew being too weak to keep up with you. Some of them may be weaker than you, some of them may be less smart, but don’t you for a second believe I fit that description. Whatever happens out here, one thing is certain. You will account for me.

[knife_bender]

And on the opposite end, you have this himbo.

Diego: Okay, okay, I'll help you.
Five: Thank God.
Diego: After I save Kennedy. And then you swing us back a few decades so I can slit Hitler's throat off with a butter knife.
Five: This is why you don't have any friends.

--

Diego, in 1963: I’m a grown-ass man, Dr. Moncton
Dr. Moncton Who still defines himself in opposition to his father. His dead father. That isn’t really defining yourself, is it, Diego?
Diego, still in 1963: Yeah, why don't you tell that to Luke Skywalker? ...I know you don't get it, but that an excellent reference.

[firstofitskind]

Reposting the ones from last time because they still amuse me:

Augur: Ten bucks says they're talking about sex. No other subject gets that kind of a laugh.
Liam: Why?
Augur: Well, it's just that- Oh. How do I explain? Usually, by your age, we wouldn't have to have this conversation, but. Okay. You have a man, like you, and a woman, like Lili... uh, I think you're going to have to figure this one out for yourself.

*later*

Augur: I bet Liam here that you two were talking about men...
Liam: No, you said they were talking about sex.



Suzanne: So, you haven't been in Washington long, then?
Liam: Would you believe it feels like I was born yesterday?
Suzanne: You must've been born an old soul, then.
Liam: Oh, you have *no* idea.

[firstofitskind]

Sandoval: Do you carry photographs in your wallet, Major?
Liam: Only my ID, why?
Sandoval: Evidence.
Liam: Of what?
Sandoval: That you were here.

Zo'or: I find it hard to believe that a human would rescue me. Although you have been loyal, you are ultimately a human being. You could easily let me die.
Liam: If you were my enemy.
Zo'or: If you were my enemy, you would be the enemy of all Taelons. I would leave you to die, without hesitation.

[hatesparadise]

I just want to use the gifs, tbh

Belle

[noonedecidesmyfate]

No one decides my fate but me. I shall go.

Rumpelstiltskin: You had a life, Belle. Before…this. Friends. Family. What made you choose to come here with me?
Belle: Heroism. Sacrifice. You know, there aren’t a lot of opportunities for women in this land to… To show what they can do. To see the world, to be heroes. So, when you arrived, that was my chance. I always wanted to be brave. I figured, do the brave thing, and bravery would follow.
Rumpelstiltskin: And is it everything you hoped?
Belle: Well, uh… I did want to see the world. That part didn’t really work out. But, uh… I did save my village.
Rumpelstiltskin: And what about your, uh, betrothed?
Belle: It was an arranged marriage. Honestly, I never really cared much for Gaston. You know, to me, love is… Love is layered. Love is a… A mystery to be uncovered. Yeah, I could never truly give my heart to someone as superficial as he. But, um, you were going to tell me about your son.

You don't get to decide what I do or how I feel; I do. If either of you cared about me, you would've listened. I don't wanna see either of you again. Ever.

You can't tell what's in a person's heart until you truly know them.

I've always dreamt of heroics, but... I think it's safer I stick to my books. They're the only adventures I know that have happy endings.

Belle: Rumplestiltskin. This thing we have, it's, it's never been easy. You know, I've... I've lost you so many times. I've lost you to, to darkness, to weakness, and... and finally, to death. But now I realize... I realize that I have not spent my life losing you. I've spent my life finding you.
Rumple: Belle. When we met, I wasn't just unloved and unloving. I was an enemy of love. Love had only brought me pain. My walls were up. But you brought them down. You brought me home. You brought light into my life, and chased away all the darkness. And I vow to you, I will never forget the distance between what I was... and what I am. I owe more to you than I can ever say. How you can see the man behind the monster, I will never know.
Belle: But that monster is gone. And the man beneath him may be flawed. But we all are. And I love you for it. Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket. And sometimes, the best teacup... is chipped.

Stark

[stykera]

This is MY side! THAT'S your side! This is MY side you STAY on your side. My side your side my side your side my side YOUR side!
(Will Mandy do this complete with arm motions at the drop of a hat? Yes.)

Stark: There's nothing Crichton can do. I'm going to be executed. Wonder how they'll do it? Pulse fire? Strangulation? Maybe even novatron gas.
Aeryn: They mentioned something called 'dispersal.'
Stark: What else did they say?
Aeryn: I didn't ask the details. Why?
Stark: Because there's a remote chance that I could survive dispersal. My physical form is only part of my reality. Much of me is energy that I can control and project.
Zhaan: The energy his mask holds in.
Stark: Maybe if I'm prepared for it, I can transfer enough of myself into another realm to survive.
Zhaan: Well, we do know that creatures like Maldis can be dispersed and-and re-coalesce.
Stark: Maybe I can return to this realm someday. Nah - I don't believe it either.


I thank you all for the great risks you took to save a mere Banik slave. Your acceptance... Your friendship... has meant a lot to me.


John: Hang on, before we hear about any plan - inquiring minds want to know - how the hell did you get here?
Stark: I stole a ship!
John: No - on the hubcap - you were executed. You were dispersed.
Stark: Crichton, this body is only a molecular creation, which enables me to live in your realm. It's merely a - a vessel for my true, incorporeal self.
John: You wanna run that by me one more time?
Stark: When I dispersed I instantly traveled to locate these plans and blueprints. And then I - I reconstituted the shell of this body and - and - stole a ship - to come find you.


Stark:Take those to our vessel.
Porters: Yes Your Eminence! Thank you!
Zhaan: "Your Eminence" just gave them a 300 fedik tip! That's more than a years wage!
Stark: The servant class is never rewarded enough.


Zhaan: Calm yourself Stark. Please. You're the expert here. You've witnessed more death than anyone else. So many dissatisfied souls dying before they felt ready.
Stark: Yes - I'm an expert on dying. I'm just not an expert on you dying.


I have a darkness which frightens lovers away. Whenever I assist the dying, I cannot help but absorb a tiny spillet of their existence. Over the cycles, the endless parade of death... I've accumulated a vast reservoir of evil. I cannot bear to lose the one thing that mitigates this twisted core of my existence.


Stark: I could never replace you.
Zhaan: Stark you must. For me - you must remain here and minister these souls. I'm relying on it.
Stark: But I love you.
Zhaan: If I did not feel the same and more - could I ask this sacrifice of you?


DEAD! ALL OF US - DEAD! My love - DEAD! My dreams - DEAD! You - DEAD! Me - DEAD! You dead! Me dead! You dead! Me dead! You dead! Me dead! Your list is short and unworthy of entree to this ship of horror! Tortured by demons you can never know! Mocked by love that will never be! Oh you want to cry young creature? I will show you something that will make you cry forever!

Re: Stark

[stykera]

But wait, there's more.

Stark: Honestly Aeryn - you don't have to hover over me.
Aeryn: To be honest in return Stark - I'd expect you to be a bit more upset.
Stark: Oh after 15,000 deaths - what's 15,001?
Aeryn: The woman you loved.
Stark: Those I minister to in their final moments are usually resistant to the process. Not Zhaan. Imagine being so at peace, so certain what was next was better... She doesn't want us upset. She wants us to carry on in her spirit. Positive and hopeful.
Aeryn: And you can do that?
Stark: Not always. I would appreciate you hovering then.


As Zhaan always says - "Do right by the wrong. Goddess helps us all along."


Stark: Fear is good. Keep that. But travel light. Forget hate.
Kelsa: If we die - will I be with my daughter - after?
Stark: Different beliefs... Different destinations. I cannot tell before the end. Should the worst befall - you will not be alone.


John: Astro! Work- now - freak - later. Work - now - freak - later.
Stark: Yes. That's fair.
John: Good.
Stark: How much later?


I have no prayer for that.


Do I look like an idiot? Huh? Does he look like an idiot? Do I look like an idiot? YEAH? Well I'm not! And we're not fooled by you! If you've got a deity you'd better make your peace with it now. Because I'm going to lead you to the other side real quick!


(He's not himself right now...for reals)
In farthest space, beyond the knowing charts
The horrid human and his band appear.

And though they play today at different parts,
The core of subtle truth beneath is clear.

The path of choice may draw you dark and deep
Where flesh deformed doth keep the dream alive.

And if the way your compass cannot keep,
Some pearls of wisdom to thee do I give.
...
Your quest is for the Princess Fair to seek.
The one a humans fleeting love did rend.

Bring forth the sword and through the darkness peek.
One loving kiss amends, and there's an end.

And if we shades with taste do not agree
A door of green shall set your senses free!


(Still not really him)Hey! I know! Maybe - you have to do more than just kiss her. Maybe - kiss - is a metaphor for showing her a reeeeally good time. Yeah! And maybe Chiana has to kiss her! Huh? Can I watch? I love to watch.

[fates_jaye]

Sharon: You tell people we're not related.
Jaye: It was just that one time.
Sharon: It was Grandpa's wake!

Jaye: "The voices, the animals, I was just mad at them. But they aren’t demonic. It just feels like that sometimes when they make me help people."

Jaye: "I make good life choices. Mostly because they're forced on me, but I make them."

Jaye: "Wait, I can't let you give me your last eight dollars. Here's five back."

Jaye: "So how long have you been using the Republican party as a lesbian dating service?"

Jaye: "I'm a snowy owl love killer. I'm a man-eater. I just was hoping things would be different with Eric. I thought maybe I could just nibble. But a natural predator can't just nibble."
Mahandra: "Oh my god, Jaye, you cannot do this to him. You promised."
Jaye: "I know. I'm trying to save him. By avoiding him so I could be with him. But I can't go near him, or I'll destroy him. So if I could just manage to stay away from him then maybe we could be together. Please don't repeat that back to me."

[lovethatjourney]

Alexis: "I don't want to brag, but US Weekly once described me as 'up for anything.'"

Alexis: "I was casually seeing Prince Harry, so there was the whole, like, 'Is she gonna be a princess' thing... um, but it's also because we were going through this very dark phase where we were just, like, partying too hard."

Alexis: "Oh, in case you wake up in a chair with your hands duct-taped together, you can snap the duct tape by just raising your hands over your head and then bringing them down really hard."

Alexis: "I don't skate through life, David. I walk through life. In really nice shoes."

Alexis: "If this is about those stupid Tamagotchis? You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!"
David: "I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead! You have to like, actively murder them in order for that to happen!"

Alexis: "I didn't go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time."

Alexis: "Trust me, no one is thinking about you the way you're thinking about you."

Alexis: "I don't know why you didn't ask me first, David. I have my license in seven different countries, And I have my F Class."
David: "Isn't that for transport trucks?"
Alexis: "Yes, well, I had a lot of people to move!"

Mutt: "Okay, what would we have talked about? It's my face."
Alexis: "Um, you'd have said, uh, 'Wow, Alexis, I'm thinking about shaving my beard. And then I would've said, 'Hmm. No, Mutt, I don't think that that's the right journey for you at this point in time.'"
Mutt: "Well, then I would've said, 'Too bad.' I shave like, every six months. Okay, you try growing a beard!"
Alexis: "I was a beard for a very well known actor, and I get it, it's uncomfortable."

Ted: "It's just a bit of a tradition at Christmas parties that I have with my friends. See, we do a cookie competition, and then the winner gets to take home all of the leftovers to their families on Christmas Day."
Alexis: "So cute. I basically did exactly the same thing with my friends once. But instead of cookies, it was whatever we could find in our parents' medicine cabinets, and instead of a Christmas party, it was an old boot factory in Krakow."

Alexis: "The internet says you're dead."
Johnny: "What? What do you mean? Who's saying that? Your mother's not dead."
Moira: "I'm standing right here."
Alexis: "Yeah, well now I know, but it's weird 'cause they're still saying it."
Moira: "So people are believing it?"
David: "Um, well it doesn't help that Alexis just tweeted 'Goodbye to a great actress,' with a cool sunglasses emoji."
Alexis: "Ok, I'm wearing sunglasses because I'm in mourning, David."

Alexis: "Okay, this might sound insane, but I've had this like, nagging feeling that as soon as I get there, I'm gonna start thinking about my family."
Ted: "That doesn't sound insane."
Alexis: "Okay, maybe I'm not expressing myself clearly. Like, I will physically be there, but I will be thinking about them here."
Ted: "Right, so what you're describing is missing someone, and it is a totally normal feeling."

Alexis: "I once hooked up with three different GQ Men of the Year. At the GQ Men of the Year party."

David: "I slept in the cab of a truck! Overnight!"
Alexis: "Oh, my God, who hasn't, David?"

[notarockharpist]

I am GOING TO WATCH THIS eventually, I swear.

[gotyoucookie]

It is a great pandemic watch!

[gotyoucookie]

Nick: "She doesn't think I can do anything or plan anything, and it feels like crap. Maybe she's right. Why did I think I could pull this off? I'm pretty sure I'm having a heart attack. And I haven't arranged for anybody to clear my Internet history. I wasn't building a bomb! I was just curious."

Nick: "Back to the basics, Schmidt. Okay, there's only seven types of stories."
Schmidt: "Please, don't list them."
Nick: "I'm gonna list them. Man vs. Man, Man vs. Dog, Dog vs. Zombie, James Bond, stories of kings and lords, women over 50 finding themselves after divorce, and car commercial."

Nick: You know, I'm the guy who... I can't just jump into something if I don't know what's gonna happen. I never have been that guy. Like, I'm the, I'm the guy that, if I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't do something. Ever. I don't care how bad I want to do it. I don't do it. Like, if everybody would go into the ocean and jumped in the water, well, I'm the guy on the beach guarding the wallets."

Nick: *looking up* Look at that, Mom, I'm gonna be a hero."
Schmidt: Why are you looking up? Your mother is still alive."
Nick: "I'm looking at Chicago."
Schmidt: "You think Chicago is up?"
Nick: "It's north."

Nick: "This is the problem, Jess. It's rich people. We are right where they want us, Jess. Just suckling on the teat of consumerism."
Jess: Yeah."
Nick: "That's the exact reason I got rid of my phone."
Winston: "You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost."
Nick: "How I got here doesn't matter."
Winston: "You weigh more than your credit score."

Nick: "I like getting older. I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality."

Nick: I know this isn't gonna end well, but the whole middle part's gonna be awesome."

Nick: *on the phone* "Where are you, Schmidt? This place is fancy, and I don't know which fork to kill myself with."

Nick: "It's good, it's good, it's good. You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol, you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. That's science."

Nick: "I am not a successful adult! I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself!"

Nick: "What a wonderful day. Quick reminder: we are dying."

Nick: "Stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm going to fall in love with you!"

Schmidt: "Take my friend Nick here, for example. I mean, this is a man who would wear sweatpants to his wedding."
Nick: "I now pronounce me... comfortable."

And one I quote WAY more than I have any right to...

Schmidt: "How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?"
Nick: No, I don't wash the towel; the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"
Julia: You never wash...?"
Nick: You wash your towel?"
Schmidt: You never wash the towel?"
Nick: What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap? You got to think here, pal."