BDE - The One With Spirit Halloween

[imafuturist]

It's that time of year once again, folks! Yes, the spooky season, but it's more than just that. It's time for a BDE! A BDE where we’re gonna punch late-stage capitalism in the face.

Welcome to the invasion of the business-snatchers! Or, more accurately, the invasion of all brand names that push out small businesses with low prices and low wages. But fear not, Fandom will prevail! But first it'll be a little weird.

Ye Olde Timeline of Insanity:

Day 1 - Saturday, October 21st
While the Fall Break ends and people return home, things begin with the appearance of the one, the only… Spirit Halloween. It finds its way to the shores of Fandom to set up shop like it does across countless abandoned storefronts all over this country. A banner announcing 'Spirit Halloween' will be strung up over an empty storefront that may or may not have existed the day prior. It's hard to tell.

But it's October. This isn't… too strange, right? Maybe the island is being whimsical or something! And the workers all seem very committed to a group costume of a television set mask on each and every one of them.

Day 2 - Sunday, October 22nd
A Starbucks is now right next to The Perk. And a Dunkin. And a Tim Hortons. And a Krispy Kreme. And Caribou Coffee. And a Peets! Why are they all in a row? How do they even fit there? It doesn't look like they took over any of the buildings there. No, they're just wedged in there and it hurts your brain just a little bit if you try to figure out how.

And when did the island get a Dollar General?

All of these new workers seem to be in the same group as the first few with television masks on their heads. Weird. But hey, it’s Fandom! Maybe… maybe it's just a fun new thing? Sometimes the island does whimsical stuff like that.

Day 3 - Monday, October 23rd
The very streets and alleyways of Fandom no longer look how they once did. No, the narrow, quaint cobblestone lined roads have been replaced with two lane roads of dull blacktop and concrete with buzzing streetlights at every block. For what traffic? How is it going up all of these hills? Shhhh. It didn't make any sense as to how, but the laws of physics seem to have been suspended here. On the plus side, a Waffle House has opened on the island!

…is that another Starbucks?

At this point, it should be painfully obvious that the workers in all these new businesses aren’t normal NPC workers who are super committed to their Halloween costumes. They’re drones of some kind. Whimsy be damned, this is just weird.

Except, of course, at the Waffle House. Waffle House is staffed by a Waffle House jump team flown in from St. Louis. They have no idea why they’re here but by God, they’re going to serve you some hash browns. But don't get sassy lest you catch these hands. Waffle House employees don't play.

Day 4 - Tuesday, October 24th
It has finally happened: local businesses are under fire from the competition and, in some cases, taken over by them. The Devil's Nest is now a Hooters. Pixie Dust is now a Hot Topic. Stark Industries is still Stark Industries because capitalism recognizes its own across dimensions. (See: How Can My Character Get Involved)

Also, some of those drone workers have gotten really aggressive about trying to sign people up for store credit cards/reward cards. Like accosting people on the streets, will only be dissuaded by violence aggressive.

Day 5 - Wednesday, October 25th
There's a gas station now. Why was there a gas station here? You know what, it doesn't matter, because it isn't just any gas station, it was a Sheetz. Just settle in and enjoy the delights within. And you can't just have one gas station, there is also a Buc-ee's in the warehouse district. Because it would only fit there and it still somehow seems too large to be there, too. Just enjoy the unseemly amount of commerce within.

Day 6 - Thursday, October 26th
There is tell of a vast complex within the woods. A blue and tan monolith with the ominous sigil of a cheery sun displayed for all to see.

Walmart.

And a parking lot with, like, four random pickup trucks just scattered around it with sullen teens, standing next to them. Why, you ask? Only the dark specters within the building might answer that.

The Final Day - Friday, October 27th
The end is nigh. It is time for the good peoples of Fandom rise up and prepare for battle to stop this invasion of Big Business from taking over their quaint little town and turning it into a desolate town fed only by the few cars that pull off the freeway to fill up their gas tanks before leaving them in the dust once more. But how? The answer is simple: Walmart must be destroyed. Kill it with fire.

The Aftermath Everything will be back to normal by the next day! Well, almost. The original interloping Spirit Halloween is gone, but there’s a new, interloping Spirit Halloween in the burnt-out Walmart in the woods, and it will be sticking around until October 31st. And then it will disappear like all Spirit Halloweens do once the holiday is over, to return to us next year when the need for cheap costumes is high once more.

And the Waffle House? Think of the Waffle House as like a Brigadoon of hash browns. It will return when it is most needed, so maybe during future BDEs, or maybe when your character is really, really drunk.

---

How Can My Character Get Involved?
There are many ways your character can be involved in the fight against late-stage capitalism the plague infesting Fandom! And many ways your character can be infected! If you own a business, you can sign up to have your business replaced by, say, Hot Topic, or to have a rival business peddling mass-produced wares from a sweatshop in Bangladesh open across the street. You can throw hands with the TV-head drones, or attempt to convince the TV-head drones that they’re being exploited and should unionize (Hot Labor Summer is now Hot Labor Fall, after all). You can shoplift from the invader businesses! You can sign up for the exploratory mission in Walmart, or…you can help burn Walmart to the ground.

Comments

Brainstorm!

[imafuturist]

I'm not sure what I'd like to do! Or I have an idea, but need a nudge!

Re: Brainstorm!

[alwaysonguard]

Need ideas on what could replace/go into competition with Dwight's shop!!! Anyone have any ideas?

Re: Brainstorm!

[betterthanaplan]

Luke's might need to turn into a Denny's. Or maybe Applebees?

Ohhhhhhh. Red Lobster.

Re: Brainstorm!

[stykera]

Never before have I so wished I had a character that ran a business.

Obvs Sam Eagle is pro-capitalism though (even though he appreciates the fine American institution that is organized labor).

Re: Brainstorm!

[flamesburned]

Need a bit of inspiration for the Photo Hut, completing blanking on ideas right now...

I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[imafuturist]

You can have your shop change into something else or merely be menaced by competition that's cheaper and less high quality than you.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[shireisburning]

I'm thinkin' Fast Eddies can become a Dave and Busters.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[deathsmajesty]

The Infinite Consortium is probably gonna be a Spencer's Gifts

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[throughaphase]

MARGARITAVILLE.

Caritas is gonna be a Margaritaville.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[chef_chocobro]

Ohno, Furnado is a PetsMart.

Totally stealing Pixie Dust as a Hot Topic, because brilliant.

Atlas? Planet Fitness.

And because I hate myself, T&C is an Amazon affiliate now.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[betterthanaplan]

Yep, Luke's is totally going to be a Long John Silvers.

With a Denny's across the street.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[alwaysonguard]

Dwight's shop is going to become an Ace Hardware store and I'm sure there will be a Home Depot and a Lowes nearby because around here at least, you cant have one without the other being across the street it seems!!!

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[carbsliftthespirit]

Pizza Planet is now a Papa John's. I'm sorry, Raiden.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[begmetwice]

Dite's will now be a Lion's Den, complete with a giant, black billboard.

I regret only that we don't have a Midwestern highway to place it beside.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[texted3times]

The Devil's Nest will be a Hooters. Feast your eyes upon Tiny in hotpants as you eat chicken wings.

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[flamesburned]

The Photo Hut will be turning into a Staples

Re: I Want To Be Involved In An Invading Business

[redhairgoldheart]

The Arms Hotel is going to become a Motel 6.

I Want To Infiltrate Walmart

[imafuturist]

In a bid to see just what this invasion wants out of us, an elite group will break into the Walmart in a stealth mission to find… nothing. But a heist is a heist and sometimes you just gotta heist.

Can you tell we like the word 'heist'?

Re: I Want To Infiltrate Walmart

[napking]

Gray has never turned down an opportunity to be sneaky in his life.

Re: I Want To Infiltrate Walmart

[firehousehimbo]

Lets put Buck here.

Re: I Want To Infiltrate Walmart

[professionalweirdo]

Gonzo can help!

With "what color are their hands now?" jokes, if nothing else.

Re: I Want To Infiltrate Walmart

[grenadesandohana]

McGarrett is the essence of stealth. And of taking things too seriously.

I Want To Attack Walmart

[imafuturist]

Open for all, but RNG will determine who will be setting that place on fire after we riot like Black Friday came early.

Re: I Want To Attack Walmart

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana is fucking here for this.

Questions!

[imafuturist]

Here they go. This spot right here.

Re: Questions!

[drumsticksandd20s]

Important question: Can we actually mod, or just reference in passing, a truly absurd number of new random Starbucks just popping up everywhere? Maybe one is there one day and gone a few hours later because the workers tried to unionize and all of a sudden it was an "unprofitable location..."

OOC

[imafuturist]

Hey, have yourself a glossary here, non-Americans and also people not in the specific regions of some of these things.

What The Heck Is This Stuff?
Spirit Halloween: A seasonal Halloween store known for taking over the spaces of failed stores and just hanging a banner on the storefront. After Halloween the banner comes down and the storefront is vacant again like nothing was ever there. Like a ghost that is also a business
Starbucks: You know what this is.
Dunkin: New England’s version of Starbucks. Also, they sell mid-tier donuts.
Tim Hortons: Canada’s version of Dunkin. We cannot verify any donut quality at this moment.
Krispy Kreme: The Southeast’s version of Tim Horton’s. Notable for a large neon ‘HOT NOW’ sign that comes on when the donuts are fresh out of the fryer.
Caribou Coffee: Also a coffee chain that originated out of Minnesota.
Peets: Also also a coffee chain that just kind of feels less corporate than the others, but very much still is.
Dollar General: A chain of “variety” stores that operate in low-income areas and small towns, providing non-fresh grocery essentials at a low price. There are nearly 19,000 of them. They’re everywhere. They’re like mushrooms.
Waffle House: A chain of diners; also a beacon of hope and hash browns in the darkness. Like Denny’s except Denny’s is cleaner and staffed by wimps. Known for their extreme disaster preparedness planning and their employees’ willingness to throw hands. (Do not fight the Waffle House employees. You will lose.)
Sheetz: A chain of gas stations/convenience stores. You know, the nice ones.
Buc-ee’s: An even nicer chain of gas stations/truck stops/warehouse stores. Originally in Texas but now gradually spreading across the land. Texas-sized. An absurd number of food options. The cleanest bathrooms you will ever encounter. Insert your own joke about their beaver mascot here.
Walmart: Short of an Amazon facility this had to be the final boss.

Re: OOC

[scarlet_chaos]

Can we keep the Sheetz tho because it's A-tier gas station food.